


Duality - a Songfic

by that_gay_mess



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Agender Deceit, FtM Virgil Johnson, Gender Queer Emile, Non-Binary Patton, One-Shot, Trans Character, genderfluid logan, song-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23123005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_gay_mess/pseuds/that_gay_mess
Summary: Virgil needs time away from his parents - however he can get it.His friends chase after him.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Duality - a Songfic

**Author's Note:**

> TW: mentions of self-harm.

"I can't quite contain, or explain my "evil" ways, or explain why I'm not sane."

He danced around his room, singing the lyrics to a song stuck in his head. Virgil Johnson was home alone, ~~homolone~~ meaning he could be himself.

"All I can say is this is your warning~."

He repeated the verse, getting out the anger from a recent conversation with his parents. He'd been out as trans (FtM) for a year at this point, but his parents were adamant as ever that he was a girl. They'd called him evil, told him that he just needed the right therapist, and he'd be "fixed". The problem only got worse when it came to the point that they'd taken him off of his anti-depressants and anxiety meds.

"Duali-"

"Violet?"

Virgil opened his window and ran out to the sidewalk. He wasn't ready to face his parents yet. 

The lyrics continued to run through his mind even though his thoughts were elsewhere.

_I have a confession that you will not believe. That you could not perceive._

"Violet, where are you?"

The boy continued to run, still hearing his parents call for her-no, him. That was a struggle still.

_This "freak", gonna set it off._

He approached Patton's house. He knew they'd hide him as long as he needed, but Virgil figured they wouldn't be home.

The word "freak" had been thrown at him too many times to count. By Roman and Damien, - not because he was trans, simply due to his personality - by most of their classmates, by his parents... the list went on. 

_I have a confession of a side that I hide. It's a cloak or disguise; unleashed, gonna get it off._

As he ran, Virgil remembered coming out, person by person. It was like revealing something secret - a disguise of sorts. Patton was the most accepting. Logan had his questions - they usually were presented when Logan used female pronouns. Remus could not care less - he still called Virgil "emo".

Remy and Picani, his cousin and cousin's datemate, were supportive and offered shelter if it came to that. Roman had a harder time understanding, despite being related to Picani, but came around. Damien was... confused, but also understood. Xie never understood gender much, or so xie said but accepted Virgil nonetheless.

_No, I'll never get away, 'cause if I try to stray, it only holds me closer._

His bandages were constricting his breathing, which only got faster as tears started flowing down his cheeks. They were sudden and unexpected. He ducked into some nearby bushes luckily surrounded by trees and screeching children. Perhaps not the best for his anxiety, but it'd cover up his sobs.

_No, I'll never get away, I'll have_ _it any way. I'll never stop._

He cursed under his breath as a fresh scar re-opened. _D***it, the bandage must've come undone._

Reluctantly, he tore off a piece of tape from his chest and wrapped it around his wrist. Stubbornly, it kept bleeding. At this point, though, he didn't notice. He was wiping his tears and running again. Where, he couldn't say.

_I can't quite contain or explain my "evil" ways or explain why I'm not sane._

Virgil rushed past the King household where Roman, Remus, and cousin Picani were talking on the porch. "Virge?!" He heard Remus call to him, but he kept going. _I just need to get away from this place._

He passed the Berry residence two doors down. Logan was in her room studying and didn't hear the commotion until Remus barged into her house, long after Virgil had passed it.

_All I can say is this is your warning~._

His tears were flowing again, dropping to the ground and mixing with his blood in thick droplets. Those chasing him quickly picked up on this and sped up, hoping to catch him.

_I can't quite contain or explain my "evil" ways or explain why I'm not sane._

The tape began to come undone again. Both on his chest and wrist.

_All I can say is this is your warning~._

He stumbled, scraped his knee, but kept running.

_Duality._

He turned the corner before Remy's house and found himself in a park. _Would there be a good place to hide here?_

Virgil then spotted a tall tree with enough leaves to shelter him - it was nearby too, which was probably a good thing.

He began to climb.

* * *

_I have an impression in the back of my mind, for the black in my tie contains our dirty thoughts._

The Kings and Logan lost sight of their friend almost as soon as he appeared. Except for the ever-increasing blood trail.

"Logan, Emile, you go get Remy. Re and I will find Virgil."

_Make me an obsession, when you lock me inside. For the ride of your life unleashed, gonna get it off._

When Virgil reached a height he deemed to be enough, he wrapped more of his tape around his wrist and frantically tried to re-bind his chest.

_No, can't count the list of things I know are wrong with me. No need to justify them.  
_

"Virgil!" "Emo kid!" A scoff and a sigh. "Virge, where are you?"

The twins passed below him, stopped, then kept moving. The aloft boy sighed in relief, allowing his tensed muscles to relax.

For whatever reason (anxiety, probably), a list of all things his parents decided were flaws flew through his mind. This caused his tears to double in strength and size. 

_No, I'll never take the blame, so I'll just stay the same. I'll never stop._

"Virge? Are you here?" Remy's voice sounded from a few trees away and, while he was tempted to say "I'm here!" and jump around as though he were four, Virgil remained hidden. He muffled his tears with his favorite jacket, hoping to trick them into thinking he'd left.

_I can't quite contain or explain my "evil" ways or explain why I'm not sane._

"Virgil? You definitely should stay in hiding so we can't help you." Damien's voice chimed in, Patton's following shortly after. "Virgil, c'mon kiddo! Come talk to us."

_All I can say is this is your warning~._

He didn't want his friends to get involved. They'd find a "solution" to his problem(s) and send him back home when all he wanted was an escape.

_I can't quite contain or explain my "evil" ways or explain why I'm not sane._

Virgil Johnson glanced down to see a child staring at him. "Hey, kid! I'll pay you a buck to-" "Virgil?" "-Jump from a low branch and run outta here." "Two bucks?"

"C'mon, kid." The child turned away and opened his mouth wide as if to scream. "Hey, hey, hey. Don't - I'll give you two bucks. Sheesh." As promised, the teen dropped two dollar-bill to the kid, who then did exactly as asked.

_All I can say is this is your warning~._

"There he goes!" "Get him!" Footsteps raced away from Virgil, which made him feel safe enough to climb down.

"Finally."

_Duality._

Virgil saw all of his friends standing a few yards away, smiling. "I thought you'd never come down!" Roman continued cheerfully. "C'mere kiddo. Let's talk." 

Talk? Talking was the last thing Virgil wanted to do, so he booked it and ran to the nearest "calm spot".

_I am good._

_I am evil._

_I am solace._

_I am chaos._

Virgil's mind spun as his friends chased after him.

_I am human, and that's all I've ever wanted to be._

As he reached the grassy bank of a river, Virgil's vision went blurry and the ground rose to meet him.

"VIRGIL!"

_No, can't count the list of things I know are wrong with me. No need to justify them._

Roman and Emile carried Virgil to Remy's apartment. "What now?" Patton asked when Virgil had been laid down on the couch. "Get him some actual bandages, for one," Logan answered. "Maybe take off the tape around his chest, too." She was met with confused stares. "What tape?" Pinching the bridge of her nose, Logan shoved all out of the room except Patton and Remy.

_No, I'll never get away, I'll have it any way. I'll never stop._

"So we take off his wrappings? Isn't that wrong?" Patton asked Remy. "If it'll protect him, no." 

The two began to unbind their friend, allowing him to breathe deeply.

_I can't quite contain or explain my "evil" ways or explain why I'm not sane._

The bandage around his wrist was removed. Patton drew a breath at how much of Virgil's skin was slashed. "Remy..."

_All I can say is this is your warning~._

Dear child, what did you do?" The two pulled Virgil's shirt back over his breasts in such a way that they were hidden.

_I can't quite contain or explain my "evil ways or explain why I'm not sane._

Emile walked into the living room two minutes later. "Rem, it's your aunt." "What does she want?" "To see her child."

The three glanced warily at Virgil's still unconscious body.

_All I can say is this is your warning~._

"He's still out?" Damien sputtered, all sarcasm gone. Xie turned to Logan. "What do we do? Surely this isn't good." In response, the girl walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, and filled it with water. "Apologies in advance, Remy." She promptly dumped all contents onto Virgil's head, effectively waking him up.

_Duality._

"Violet?"

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is. I've put one of my open stories on a discontinued notice and likely will be doing so with the others until I can gain motivation enough. Apologies.
> 
> Hope you liked the story.


End file.
